Crucifixion - Painting My Faith

Carrie Jo Gros "It Is Finished" Oil on Canvas 2017 

Having been Catholic for only a little over ten years, being vocal about and expressing my faith is not something that comes natural to me. Having grown up protestant, my first introduction to Catholicism was at the University of Kansas during my BFA studies. You see, one cannot study art history without an immersion in the rich artistic history of the Catholic Church. Awareness of this exposure is not obvious, but it is there. (I myself did not become aware of my appreciation until years later when I stepped into a Catholic church and was greeted by a replica of Michelangelo’s Pietà.) As my faith has grown, so has my desire to explore and express it in my art. This desire comes with a great amount of fear. Not only fear of creating a work that is misunderstood, but also fears of it simply falling short or not being good enough. Questions such as, “What if I get the references wrong?” or “If this painting is no good, am I insulting Mary?” taunt and paralyze me.

Being Me

I've spent a good many years trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. It was not until recently that I found an answer to this ponderance. It's not "what" but "who". There are many things that I am unsure of in life but of this one thing I am 100% positive. I want to be Carrie Jo when I grow up.

Now this may seem like a silly thing to say, but how many times in your life have you been encouraged to do something because others thought it would be good for you? Or you make a decision because you think that you should be something more than you are? It's a simple situation,"The grass is always greener on the other side." Right?

The House, A Love Story

While house hunting, my husband and I had a lot of things we agreed on but esthetic was not one of them. I preferred an older home, two-stories, with history and charm. My dream was to live in an established neighborhood, centralized in the city. Dennis preferred nothing over fifty years old, attached garage and a poured concrete basement. (No stacked stone!) Thank goodness for the ease of browsing via the internet. Otherwise, we would have taken months to find a house. We had looked at too many houses and I was discouraged. We almost settled on a house neither of us was completely in love with. Then I was reminded of a neighborhood we'd walk while we were dating. The houses were unique and grand. I didn’t think we would ever afford anything in that area.  But it never hurts to look! After more searching, I was able to a couple of options and things began to look up!

Online, the house was described as “Classic Knollwood” which meant nothing to us. We were not familiar enough with the area to know that is what the subdivision was called.

The Beginning

Life_and other projects

I used to write; I loved to write… not necessarily for anyone to read but mostly for myself. When I was younger writing helped me make sense of the things I was thinking, feeling and doing. Now as a 35-year old mother of two, I don’t get to do much of anything that does not include a child on my lap. Not complaining, I love my girls, but if I were to try and keep a journal now, I fear it would end up turning into a sketchpad for them and a to-do list for me.

So here I am, my first blog. Sticking my thoughts and feelings on-THE-line as it may. Processing the things that occur in the many projects of my life. Learning from my thoughts and sharing with the vastness of my curiosity from on the other side of the screen. I write as I think. Here is not the place for grammatical correctness, judgment or opinion. This is merely the verbal sketchpad of this great project I call my life. Enjoy.